Posts
This past Saturday as I was on my way to my weapons class, I was startled by my phone screaming at me (beeping, really) because I had a message. Like, no one calls me, seriously. So to have a message on my cell always scares the crap outta me.
When I had the chance I listened to it, and it was from Five Guys, the human resources department.
What. The. Hell.
I specifically remember putting down on my application to try the home phone first, and no one ever called my home phone. But whatever, I'm desperate, so I call them back.
No answer.
Okay... I called the next day (Sunday) and managed to get an answer. She told me to go in on Monday between two and four in the afternoon and ask for an interview, they just needed one more to be sure. That they definitely wanted to hire me if I was still available.
Awesome.
So I went in and did the interview, and the guy told me he doesn't do the actual hiring, but I could expect to be working either today or tomorrow, and the manager who is in control of the hiring will call me around 5pm to let me know.
I was hecka excited. But I did make sure to tell the guy to call my home phone, just like I informed HR when I returned their call. So by now I've told them three times not to call my cell first.
Well, the call never came. Not to my home phone nor to my cell phone.
I've been in to fill out an application and interview twice. I also sent a resume via email, and called on the phone to land the application process. I made sure to call HR back, even though their message was from Wednesday. And I placed that call twice. I've put enough work into trying to get the job. So when they didn't call me back, I was hecka bummed, and totally through with the shit.
So today I went and picked up applications to Stewarts and will be turning them in tomorrow. I know at least one of them is definitely hiring mornings, so that works for me.
In other news...
This past Saturday in my weapons class I was Queen of the Hill. Not only did I beat down the other two boys that were there, I also beat my sensei. I was the undefeated champion of the day. :3 It was awesome.
I know I know, my sensei was holding back. But I told him to go at what he felt I could handle, and he did pick it up a notch when I started getting points, but then he decided to get fancy to try and trick me and I stabbed him. x3 That was the winning point. Haha. It was pretty awesome.
We also played with sais a little bit, and to do so got to wield a real katana. Not in any fast motion, but the sai doesn't grip to a bokken to show proper technique, so we had to use the katana. Hey, no big deal to me, made the lesson more fun. :3
Then I had my private lesson, and I'm just one move away from attaining my yellow belt. OvO I'm so excited! I'm going to work hecka hard to get that belt, and I decided that night that I would have my black belt by the age of 25. So it's my goal now.
I think the highlight of the private lesson though was when we were grappling, and I tapped him out with a move that is legal, but doesn't exist in any book anywhere. I just made it up on whim and instinct. If I remember completely properly, I got my leg around an arm and baited him with a hand and when he took the wrist I clamped onto his hand with mine and then used my knee as a focus point to strain his arm against. I don't know really, it was queer and I was just running on instinct. xD; But it worked! It worked real well! ROFL
That's about it though. Nothing else interesting really has happened. Worked on my dojo's website a bit, and it's almost complete and ready to be launched in its own domain, so that's cool.
Cleaned my room today, as much as is possible. I'm now pretending my closet does not exist. >.>;
Oh, and I'm fairly sick with who knows what. Some stomach flu. Yay.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friggin Dog
I love Jack, I really do, but that damn dog really pushes me to my wits end sometimes. Then again, so does the stupidity of those around me.
Jack is known for a tendency of running off if you're not careful, and he's smart like a child. And if you give a kid an inch... Yeah, you get where I'm going.
So anyways, Mom has been letting Jack out to do his business in the mornings and just not putting him on his run because it's too cold, and sometimes she'd forget to go check the door in the midst of trying to get my siblings off to school. So she started just waiting for him to do his business and calling him right back in, while waiting for him on the porch to keep an eye on him. Well, as he got better with this and because she hates the cold, she started just staying at the door. This eventually became she left him alone while she made her cup of coffee and then came back.
I guess he was doing pretty good for the past few weeks like this, until today when he ran off.
Mom let him out about 5:30am, and I just now retrieved him. Four hours of calling his name and standing at the door freezing our asses off every half hour or so.
Now, I haven't slept all night. I napped a lot off and on through the day, and I've been up since 10pm. It's almost 10am. I'm coming down with the flu, and my stomach is off because of the screwy sleep schedule and lack of a proper diet.
But, because Mom is worse off with the flu than I am, and god only knows what my sister is doing (this is technically her dog after all), and because Dad was sleeping (up until about two minutes ago); I had to be the one to go find the dog. Mom was certain he'd become roadkill because she had saw a car slam their brakes on near the driveway just after seeing Jack near it when he wouldn't respond to our calls. And when mom starts worrying, it's easier just to take action than to try and calm her with words.
So I walked up the driveway to see if I'd find puppy splatter or not, and thankfully I didn't. Mind you, it's about 20ºF outside, and I only have a hoodie and some haphazardly thrown-on clothes. It was really cold, even in the sunlight. I went a little ways down the road in either direction in the immediate area I knew he usually frequented because there were other dogs there, and then came back through the woods where I knew he also tended to go.
I did this for two purposes. The first being that I could call his name while walking. The second is that it's easier to spot a dog when you're not in a fast moving vehicle, trying to pay attention to the road. And the third and most important reason was that I wanted to leave a familiar scent behind so that maybe he'd follow it home. I'm no city girl, I live in a small town with lots of trees. I played in the woods as a child the way other kids went to the town park. But let me tell you, climbing up and over snow banks and finding areas that I wasn't going to sink in to knee-deep snow was not what I wanted to do this morning.
Jack did not appear before me while walking though, so I came back inside and got my keys. I planned on going around the "block" if you will, even though it would be more like making a circle of roads that happen to connect.
Wouldn't you know as I got to the end of the driveway the little shit was sitting right there on the side of the road maybe three-hundred feet away? Well, he disappeared just as fast when I turned to look so I could see if any cars were coming before I went to pick him up. Why take the car? It's simple, I didn't feel like back down an icy driveway of good length, especially when it slopes downward.
So I went and turned around on the street just up ahead, and as I came back he was there at the end of the driveway. Well, I hauled his ass in the car and kept a hand on his collar the whole way inside.
That dog is smart. We didn't have to say anything to him and he knew he was in trouble. He's currently cowering in the living room with his tail between his legs, because he knows that my Dad is going to chew him out. We all know it. He was told that he was bad by Mom and myself already, but Dad gives no quarter. He doesn't beat the animals, but the tone of his voice is enough when they're bad.
Damn dog deserves it right now. And I think Mom's learned her lesson--Jack will be going back on his run from now on. She should know better anyways. You know how curiosity killed the cat? Yeah, well it's going to kill our dog one day. I know he's a good boy, but his curiosity gets the better of him and he takes off. You'd think he'd know better by now. But apparently he doesn't, and he probably never will.
But at least he's back.
Jack is known for a tendency of running off if you're not careful, and he's smart like a child. And if you give a kid an inch... Yeah, you get where I'm going.
So anyways, Mom has been letting Jack out to do his business in the mornings and just not putting him on his run because it's too cold, and sometimes she'd forget to go check the door in the midst of trying to get my siblings off to school. So she started just waiting for him to do his business and calling him right back in, while waiting for him on the porch to keep an eye on him. Well, as he got better with this and because she hates the cold, she started just staying at the door. This eventually became she left him alone while she made her cup of coffee and then came back.
I guess he was doing pretty good for the past few weeks like this, until today when he ran off.
Mom let him out about 5:30am, and I just now retrieved him. Four hours of calling his name and standing at the door freezing our asses off every half hour or so.
Now, I haven't slept all night. I napped a lot off and on through the day, and I've been up since 10pm. It's almost 10am. I'm coming down with the flu, and my stomach is off because of the screwy sleep schedule and lack of a proper diet.
But, because Mom is worse off with the flu than I am, and god only knows what my sister is doing (this is technically her dog after all), and because Dad was sleeping (up until about two minutes ago); I had to be the one to go find the dog. Mom was certain he'd become roadkill because she had saw a car slam their brakes on near the driveway just after seeing Jack near it when he wouldn't respond to our calls. And when mom starts worrying, it's easier just to take action than to try and calm her with words.
So I walked up the driveway to see if I'd find puppy splatter or not, and thankfully I didn't. Mind you, it's about 20ºF outside, and I only have a hoodie and some haphazardly thrown-on clothes. It was really cold, even in the sunlight. I went a little ways down the road in either direction in the immediate area I knew he usually frequented because there were other dogs there, and then came back through the woods where I knew he also tended to go.
I did this for two purposes. The first being that I could call his name while walking. The second is that it's easier to spot a dog when you're not in a fast moving vehicle, trying to pay attention to the road. And the third and most important reason was that I wanted to leave a familiar scent behind so that maybe he'd follow it home. I'm no city girl, I live in a small town with lots of trees. I played in the woods as a child the way other kids went to the town park. But let me tell you, climbing up and over snow banks and finding areas that I wasn't going to sink in to knee-deep snow was not what I wanted to do this morning.
Jack did not appear before me while walking though, so I came back inside and got my keys. I planned on going around the "block" if you will, even though it would be more like making a circle of roads that happen to connect.
Wouldn't you know as I got to the end of the driveway the little shit was sitting right there on the side of the road maybe three-hundred feet away? Well, he disappeared just as fast when I turned to look so I could see if any cars were coming before I went to pick him up. Why take the car? It's simple, I didn't feel like back down an icy driveway of good length, especially when it slopes downward.
So I went and turned around on the street just up ahead, and as I came back he was there at the end of the driveway. Well, I hauled his ass in the car and kept a hand on his collar the whole way inside.
That dog is smart. We didn't have to say anything to him and he knew he was in trouble. He's currently cowering in the living room with his tail between his legs, because he knows that my Dad is going to chew him out. We all know it. He was told that he was bad by Mom and myself already, but Dad gives no quarter. He doesn't beat the animals, but the tone of his voice is enough when they're bad.
Damn dog deserves it right now. And I think Mom's learned her lesson--Jack will be going back on his run from now on. She should know better anyways. You know how curiosity killed the cat? Yeah, well it's going to kill our dog one day. I know he's a good boy, but his curiosity gets the better of him and he takes off. You'd think he'd know better by now. But apparently he doesn't, and he probably never will.
But at least he's back.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Letter from a Future Hallmark Student
I was sick all this morning. I tried to lay down after my last post, and I slept fitfully between bouts with my stomach and what seemed to be panic attacks, though I can't say for certain because I wasn't able to really tell with everything that was going on. I did finally fall asleep for good around 11:30am, and I've been up for about an hour now, so hopefully this will be helpful to getting back on track with my sleeping schedule. Cross your fingers for me.
My mood has also improved greatly with sleep, thank god. But it wasn't just the sleep. I woke up and opened my email to find a letter from a class of 2010 Hallmark student. He's an older gentleman, and he had questions for me concerning how things would go, but he also was interested in where I went. It feels good to know that the hard work I put into the blog from when I was in Hallmark is helpful and of interest to others, but he also put a smile on my face since he said that I had a wonderful writing style. It meant a lot to me right now. But really, the biggest thing was that he contacted me and not one of the other alumni off of the Hallmark website. It's just good to feel appreciated like that.
I really hope that he and I become friends, he seems like a great guy.
That's about it though. I'm going to go find some food, and then I'm going to look for more job listings again.
My mood has also improved greatly with sleep, thank god. But it wasn't just the sleep. I woke up and opened my email to find a letter from a class of 2010 Hallmark student. He's an older gentleman, and he had questions for me concerning how things would go, but he also was interested in where I went. It feels good to know that the hard work I put into the blog from when I was in Hallmark is helpful and of interest to others, but he also put a smile on my face since he said that I had a wonderful writing style. It meant a lot to me right now. But really, the biggest thing was that he contacted me and not one of the other alumni off of the Hallmark website. It's just good to feel appreciated like that.
I really hope that he and I become friends, he seems like a great guy.
That's about it though. I'm going to go find some food, and then I'm going to look for more job listings again.
Crashing and Burning
It's so strange. As I write this, I feel like I've left my mind and body behind, and am watching them drop off a cliff with my emotions. It's such a surreal feeling. And probably not something good.
I'm still jobless, and it's finally taking its toll on my mind. All the pills in the world aren't going to help this, because they can't get rid of the cause. It's no good if you just treat the symptoms, you have to kill the disease.
I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just want to do photography, but I can't. I lack the money to pay for gas to take me to the areas I want to photograph, and the economy here is suffering badly enough that no one has the money to hire me it seems. Not that I'd really see any of that money anyways since it goes into a business account. :\
I applied to the BonTon and a few other places. Just need to hear back from them now. Still hoping for something to come about with Five Guys. I don't know. I just need money. I hate having to be dependent on materialism.
My sleeping schedule is also totally backwards. Again. Which doesn't help but I just have no motivation or stamina to turn it back around. In fact it's quite the opposite. I'm getting to where I'm sleeping more and more. I feel like a cat. I sleep for one long period, wake for a while, and nap often. And the naps are getting longer and more numerous. Not healthy and I just... don't care. Well no... I do but not actively I guess.
I'm starting to loose interest in my friends too. Games aren't particularly interesting anymore. I don't eat right, if really at all. But I'm not actively trying to starve myself this time at least, I just don't have the desire to make myself food. I cry randomly for no reason.
It's all part of depression and I know this, but I don't want to take pills to just cover up the symptom when I know the underlying cause this time is stress. My mind is just shutting down because it can't handle the thoughts of what's going to happen if I'm unable to continue paying off my loans. And I'm not going to put mind-altering chemicals in my body when all it's going to do is put a smile on my face as I kiss life goodbye.
Basically, that's what I'm doing. And the government doesn't care, and they never will. Bush really screwed us, and Congress and the big companies running their pocket books aren't going to let things change that easy. Why should they when they're sitting fat and happy on capital hill? It doesn't matter if the rest of us suffer. At least I'm not like a lot of the country and committing welfare fraud and shit to get money. At least I still have my honour.
But something has to give, because I'm sure I'm not the only one losing my mind to the stress of this economy. I just want to sleep through it, and with the way things are going maybe I'll get my wish. I mean after all, what else can I do? Everywhere you look businesses are shutting down and closing their doors because Americans only barely have enough money to pay bills and put meager food amounts on the table. No one really has the money for luxuries anymore.
Now I'm just rambling. I think I'm going to go back to sleep. There's no reason to be awake after all. Right now, life is just a waking nightmare. I'd rather live in my dreams where I can survive anything.
I'm tired of just existing but it's all I can do for now.
I'm still jobless, and it's finally taking its toll on my mind. All the pills in the world aren't going to help this, because they can't get rid of the cause. It's no good if you just treat the symptoms, you have to kill the disease.
I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I just want to do photography, but I can't. I lack the money to pay for gas to take me to the areas I want to photograph, and the economy here is suffering badly enough that no one has the money to hire me it seems. Not that I'd really see any of that money anyways since it goes into a business account. :\
I applied to the BonTon and a few other places. Just need to hear back from them now. Still hoping for something to come about with Five Guys. I don't know. I just need money. I hate having to be dependent on materialism.
My sleeping schedule is also totally backwards. Again. Which doesn't help but I just have no motivation or stamina to turn it back around. In fact it's quite the opposite. I'm getting to where I'm sleeping more and more. I feel like a cat. I sleep for one long period, wake for a while, and nap often. And the naps are getting longer and more numerous. Not healthy and I just... don't care. Well no... I do but not actively I guess.
I'm starting to loose interest in my friends too. Games aren't particularly interesting anymore. I don't eat right, if really at all. But I'm not actively trying to starve myself this time at least, I just don't have the desire to make myself food. I cry randomly for no reason.
It's all part of depression and I know this, but I don't want to take pills to just cover up the symptom when I know the underlying cause this time is stress. My mind is just shutting down because it can't handle the thoughts of what's going to happen if I'm unable to continue paying off my loans. And I'm not going to put mind-altering chemicals in my body when all it's going to do is put a smile on my face as I kiss life goodbye.
Basically, that's what I'm doing. And the government doesn't care, and they never will. Bush really screwed us, and Congress and the big companies running their pocket books aren't going to let things change that easy. Why should they when they're sitting fat and happy on capital hill? It doesn't matter if the rest of us suffer. At least I'm not like a lot of the country and committing welfare fraud and shit to get money. At least I still have my honour.
But something has to give, because I'm sure I'm not the only one losing my mind to the stress of this economy. I just want to sleep through it, and with the way things are going maybe I'll get my wish. I mean after all, what else can I do? Everywhere you look businesses are shutting down and closing their doors because Americans only barely have enough money to pay bills and put meager food amounts on the table. No one really has the money for luxuries anymore.
Now I'm just rambling. I think I'm going to go back to sleep. There's no reason to be awake after all. Right now, life is just a waking nightmare. I'd rather live in my dreams where I can survive anything.
I'm tired of just existing but it's all I can do for now.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Still Jobless
So I still lack a job, and it sucks really bad. I tried to put in an application to Panera Bread, but unfortunately unless the website says that they are hiring, I cannot complete the second half of the application. So that's out. Totally lame. Even lamer was Piercing Pagoda who has you take a general survey, and if you're chosen you then may move on to the next step of the application process. I think I'm going to call them tomorrow to see if they've gotten any paper applications in yet, and to see if they can't step it up with the survey thing. Because... I really need a job, and that one seems like it might be kinda fun. As for Five Guys... I have no idea. I need to call them too and see what's going on. Because... once again, really kind of need that job. >_<;;; I hate having bills to pay, I really do.
I also need to get in touch with Tom Mills, who does the taxes for our family, and hand over my W2, and ask him about my small business type stuff. Because I'm not sure if I need to file since I didn't make $600 in profit this past year. I don't know. But I sure as hell do not want to be audited and then owe the government even more money. Lord knows they don't deserve it in this economy. Holy crap son.
So in the mean time I've just been trying to deal with all the stress. The first thing I did was get out of a long distance relationship I was having... which was back on... February 3rd. I'm just in no position to be in a relationship at all. I barely have time to think for myself, let alone another person. Plus, distance is very stressful. So I didn't need that. The next thing I did was start searching for jobs, and I cashed my final paychecks to pay off some bills. So I still have about $500, which will be enough for one more month of student loans... but then I'm SOL for EVERYTHING. So getting a job is HECKA important, and it's driving me NUTS. On the family scene, my uncle had to have extensive back surgery, my grandfather is still hanging on to life for whatever reason, the poor man, and Dad has to go in for another knee surgery ASAP. My siblings are having either school or work troubles of their own too, which has caused some serious trouble in the tipi, and I hate it a lot. Like... I wish I had that disposable income back so I could get out more.
At least I still have my martial arts though. I don't know what I'd do without it. Good god. @_@;;; And when I'm not doing that, I've been getting into Ragnarok Online. It's actually a really fun game, and I'm really enjoying becoming a Wizard. I love magic, I really do. <3 And RO is a game that I can play for hours (seriously, I played for close to 12 today, made it all the way to level 99 xD) and just not think. I don't think about life, I don't stress, and I just have fun. And I really, really need that.
In the mean time, I also Skype with people who are on and want to chat. So long as everyone wants to chat with each other as well, we often end up in group rooms. I don't normally run them though, so I don't have much of a say. xD Only the room leader, aka host, we have discovered, can add people. Oh well, it's fun nonetheless.
The biggest reason I need a job though? I don't even care about AX anymore, I just REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to go out and meet Mouse, Kizzy, and Vos. SO FREAKIN BADLY. AX would be great since so many others will be there too, but my big thing is at least meeting them. However, if I make AX I can also meet Artemis, which would be fantastic. He's such a funny guy, and we have such a fun RP going.
So yeah, that's about where life stands right now. Anyone who knows someone who is hiring in my area, HIT ME UP. Because I am DESPERATE. I'm almost to the point that I'll clean your freakin toilets if you'll just PAY ME. ;A;
Oh, and the arm is doing better. :D;;; Almost forgot to mention that. Reinjured it twice on Saturday, but no big. Just got hit once in weapons class, and then we both forgot about our injuries when we were grappling, and my sensei accidentally grabbed that arm right where it hurt. Not too big a deal though, because it wasn't all that bad. If it had been, we wouldn't have been grappling in the first place. LMAO He says I'm tougher that most people though, including his brothers who are older than me, so that's pretty awesome. :3
That'd be the long-winded update though. Enjoy, peace out, have a good sleep, whatever it may be, later~!
I also need to get in touch with Tom Mills, who does the taxes for our family, and hand over my W2, and ask him about my small business type stuff. Because I'm not sure if I need to file since I didn't make $600 in profit this past year. I don't know. But I sure as hell do not want to be audited and then owe the government even more money. Lord knows they don't deserve it in this economy. Holy crap son.
So in the mean time I've just been trying to deal with all the stress. The first thing I did was get out of a long distance relationship I was having... which was back on... February 3rd. I'm just in no position to be in a relationship at all. I barely have time to think for myself, let alone another person. Plus, distance is very stressful. So I didn't need that. The next thing I did was start searching for jobs, and I cashed my final paychecks to pay off some bills. So I still have about $500, which will be enough for one more month of student loans... but then I'm SOL for EVERYTHING. So getting a job is HECKA important, and it's driving me NUTS. On the family scene, my uncle had to have extensive back surgery, my grandfather is still hanging on to life for whatever reason, the poor man, and Dad has to go in for another knee surgery ASAP. My siblings are having either school or work troubles of their own too, which has caused some serious trouble in the tipi, and I hate it a lot. Like... I wish I had that disposable income back so I could get out more.
At least I still have my martial arts though. I don't know what I'd do without it. Good god. @_@;;; And when I'm not doing that, I've been getting into Ragnarok Online. It's actually a really fun game, and I'm really enjoying becoming a Wizard. I love magic, I really do. <3 And RO is a game that I can play for hours (seriously, I played for close to 12 today, made it all the way to level 99 xD) and just not think. I don't think about life, I don't stress, and I just have fun. And I really, really need that.
In the mean time, I also Skype with people who are on and want to chat. So long as everyone wants to chat with each other as well, we often end up in group rooms. I don't normally run them though, so I don't have much of a say. xD Only the room leader, aka host, we have discovered, can add people. Oh well, it's fun nonetheless.
The biggest reason I need a job though? I don't even care about AX anymore, I just REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to go out and meet Mouse, Kizzy, and Vos. SO FREAKIN BADLY. AX would be great since so many others will be there too, but my big thing is at least meeting them. However, if I make AX I can also meet Artemis, which would be fantastic. He's such a funny guy, and we have such a fun RP going.
So yeah, that's about where life stands right now. Anyone who knows someone who is hiring in my area, HIT ME UP. Because I am DESPERATE. I'm almost to the point that I'll clean your freakin toilets if you'll just PAY ME. ;A;
Oh, and the arm is doing better. :D;;; Almost forgot to mention that. Reinjured it twice on Saturday, but no big. Just got hit once in weapons class, and then we both forgot about our injuries when we were grappling, and my sensei accidentally grabbed that arm right where it hurt. Not too big a deal though, because it wasn't all that bad. If it had been, we wouldn't have been grappling in the first place. LMAO He says I'm tougher that most people though, including his brothers who are older than me, so that's pretty awesome. :3
That'd be the long-winded update though. Enjoy, peace out, have a good sleep, whatever it may be, later~!
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